a heavy heart

this isn't the week for matching.

the staffing for the three will likely take place next week.

the staffing for the four has been pushed out for another month and a half.

i wrote wednesday that we are okay with waiting, and we are. well, there is a little bit of anxiousness, but it subsides when we remind ourselves it's all in God's hands.

so why the heavy heart? the sibling group of four is having some issues with visiting, behaviors, possible future behaviors, that wouldn't be easy to deal with. they have been failed so much and their issues are stemming from them being failed. i am so fearful that they will continue to be failed. that they won't be placed in a home that will love them the right way. and teach them the right way. and won't help heal their pain. and lead them to the Lord.

it's frightening to me that they could get lost in the system because people may be scared to put themselves out enough to make things right for these little lives.

and do you know what song just came on as i type this?

"trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight
don't worry about tomorrow, He's got in under control." --sixpence none the richer

please pray for us. for heavy hearts. are they from the Lord?

and pray also for these children. they so desperately need it.

matching

well, this could be the week. the week we are "matched" with children. children that right now still belong to their biological parents who for a variety of reasons, aren't able to care for them properly. or they may belong to the state, their parents rights already being permanently severed. but soon, in a few weeks, they will with live with us, in our home. and in a few months, they will be our children. permanently, forever.

a little overwhelming, but very exciting.

right now it's down to a sibling group of 3 or a sibling group of 4. we have no idea what will happen, and maybe none of these children are meant to be ours. in which case we'll just keep waiting.

and the waiting, though to some it may seem agonizing, we're doing fine with it. we'd love to know, to meet our children. but, we know God knows and He'll fill us in just in time. He's done that so far. given us the answers right when we need them. we, at times, have spent months wondering about an answer to what ever hurdle we were trying to jump. and then months later we look back and are in awe of God's timing.

and when we look back over our lives, how He has orchestrated everything so masterfully, it makes it even easier to wait on Him now.

He's always been faithful.

"morning by morning i wake up to find
the power and comfort of God's hand in mine
season by season i watch Him amazed,
in awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
all i have need of His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me
i can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
i can't remember one single regret in serving God only
and trusting His hand
all i have need of His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me
this is my anthem, this is my song,
the theme of the stories i've heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
all i have need of His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me"
--sara groves

so, we'll keep you posted, of our match with our children.

and more importantly, of His faithfulness.