on being a mother, for one week

well, i am blogging so that means i have survived. to review how things have been going, let me take you back a few days.

here is a picture of josh and i on our final night out as 'just us'.



we had a really great time at dinner, and afterward. i got a little teary eyed a few times and i think josh did too.
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i also wanted to share a few pictures of our new closet. it's still not totally finished, but my clothes are hanging in there now so the kids rooms are almost all their own.




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and here is our living room the morning before we brought the kids home.



somehow we managed to find a place for everything. and amazingly after one week, everything is still in its place. in fact, josh just commented to me that the house has been maintained better this week than it ever has. i have been telling him for years that once i got to be home full-time, things would be much different. turns out i was right.
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and now on to the kids and parenting and adjusting, etc. i know that's what you really want to hear about anyway.

over last weekend i was really questioning whether or not we were doing the right thing. we didn't pick up the kids until 4pm saturday and so we weren't home until a little after 6pm. all we had time for that night was a little visiting with some friends and dinner. putting the two boys down for bed wasn't too easy. they were a little scared, and i think i was too. i didn't sleep that well, listening to every single little noise coming through the baby monitor. we were up a couple different times that night, comforting children. and we were up pretty early Sunday morning. our daughter woke up at 6:30, needing to go potty, and she wanted to stay up. i was thinking, "remember, this is what you always wanted. you are supposed to be excited about being up this early with your child. and, it's mother's day."

the rest of the day was pretty easy. we managed to give both boys a nap and head over to uncle ben and aunt ashley's house for lunch with them and grammy and gramps(josh's brother and parents). the kids did really well. we ate a late lunch/early dinner of sloppy joe's, fruit salad, and chips. we also had brownie sundaes for dessert. thanks aunt ashley for feeding us! you are a very good cook!

i got a few mother's day cards and a couple of presents. josh's mom gave me a really nice devotional for mothers and josh got me some flip flops. i am sure this doesn't seem like a very good mother's day present, but it really is. i always buy really cheap shoes, especially flip flops. and josh always buys really nice shoes. his last forever and mine always fall apart. by the end of the summer, my feet are a mess, his are not. so, he finally decided to buy me some nice shoes. and, i told him not to get me anything for mother's day anyway. the kids are a huge gift, and we don't have the money for anything unnecessary right now.

after spending some time with the family, it was time to head off to church. this is one of the big things i had been waiting for. standing in church with my children that i had been praying for for so long, singing praises to my God who had ordained all of it. the kids were really well behaved. very quiet for little children. they took turns sitting with mommy and daddy, grammy and gramps, ben and ashley. mommy was a little overwhelmed at times during worship, feeling so grateful for all God has done in our lives. and after the service was over, the kids took turns visiting with our friends and running all over the sanctuary. our church is much bigger than the one they attended in foster care and they took full advantage of it.

bed time still wasn't easy this night, especially for the boys. and once we finally got them to sleep, i was really feeling like my life was so much better when i was on my own, only worrying about josh and myself. then i kept thinking, "how boring would that be? wanting to be a mother my whole life and then deciding to just live for me." and it also seems kind of selfish in my situation. God has clearly directed my path toward motherhood. could i deny the plans He has for me?

then monday morning hit and i was in my element. having a daily routine with children, doing breakfast, lunch, dinner, laundry, dishes, bath time, etc. is what i have been doing for the past three years. somehow in the midst of my doubting us following God's obvious Will, i found myself.
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we have had a really great week. it's been really rainy so we've stayed in most of the time, but the kids don't mind one bit. though they do ask about going to the park quite a bit!

monday morning the kids and i went to target. there were a few odds and ends i needed to pick up and i had some gift cards left over from my shower. the kids did great, stayed with me, helped me find things. we came home and had lunch and nap time and did our nightly routine when daddy came home from work. we took baths and washed hair and went to bed. i'll spare you the getting up in the middle of the night and jump into tuesday.

tuesday we were home all day. after dinner daddy had to leave for his soccer game. mommy and the kids really wanted to go, but it was cold and rainy. hopefully this tuesday the weather will be better. the kids think it's really neat that daddy plays soccer. they helped him get ready to go and when he came home they helped him take off his sweat bands and they talked to him about his game.

wednesday our social workers came over in the morning for their first home call since the kids moved in. they were very pleased with how things are going so far. our adoption worker commented that she was really excited when she walked in and saw how the kids have taken to me. when daddy came home it was finally not raining and we were able to walk to the park. the park however was soaked. there were huge puddles under the swings and the kids like to swing the best so we decided to just walk through the park and take a walk around the block. daddy had the two oldest kids in the wagon and i had the baby in the jog stroller with the dog on her leash. though we didn't get to stop and play, it was nice to be outside and the kids really enjoyed their wagon ride.

thursday morning i had to go to a meeting at our agency. they had to do another matching staffing since the kids are in permanent custody now. the matching staffing was just for us and the kids. i was really happy to be a part of it, to be able to share how i think things are going and how josh and i feel about the kids. the kids foster mom was able to baby-sit them for me. it was really nice for her to be able to see the kids so soon after they moved in with us. and i think it was good for the kids too. our middle son did cry when i left, and our daughter was pretty withdrawn for awhile. turns out she thought mommy might not come back. mommy called after the meeting and when the foster mom told her it was me and i'd be back to get her soon, she perked up. after daddy came home from work and we ate dinner, daddy went out to mow the lawn and uncle ben stopped by. the kids watched daddy out the window and then got all wound up with uncle ben. these are priceless moments.

friday, the kids and i spent most of the day at grammy and gramps(josh's parents). it was the first time they've had one on one time with the kids. usually there's been other relatives or friends around. grammy and gramps really enjoyed getting to know the kids better. mommy enjoyed getting a little rest while the baby napped and the two oldest kids played in gramps office. we ate lunch there, had a snack there, and spent some time playing. grammy had some blueberries for us. they were a big hit with the baby!

then on friday night papa(my dad) and aunt jackie(future SIL) and uncle ryan(my baby brother) stopped by to visit. the kids had a great time playing horsey with jackie and ryan. they were literally on the floor on all fours while the kids rode around on their backs. papa had a great time too, doing silly dances with the kids.
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today the baby woke up at 6:15am. he and mommy had a nice quiet breakfast together before the other little munchkins woke up. our daughter woke up at 7am and stood talking in the hallway outside of our bedroom door where josh was still sleeping. her talking woke him up and when he sat up and looked at her, she said, "why you still in bed?" i think it's going to take him awhile to get broken in to early morning father mode.

this afternoon we went to our local center of town for a kite festival. there weren't many people there and the kite festival consisted of little kids making kites that wouldn't fly. the big deal for us was that scooby doo was there. the kids love scooby! we got to give him hugs and take pictures with him. and then we just took a walk around town. our town is located near a river so we got to see some waterfalls and the fast moving river. the kids really enjoyed our time out.
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right now as i am blogging, josh and our daughter are playing pretend food/kitchen in the living room. the boys are napping. the dog is probably wishing she lived somewhere else. and speaking of the dog. the children were at first terrified of her, but now they are totally in love. they look for her when she leaves the room. they sit by her when she's sleeping. the baby reaches for her when he's sitting in his highchair. they love to pet her. they love to surround her and talk to her, kind of like in this picture. yes, i am finally ready to share a picture. here's our three little ones all cozying up to the dog.


oh, i got you a little on that one didn't i. sorry. i know you can't see their faces. i hope you are okay with that. i hope you are willing to keep reading until i am ready to show you their cute little faces. we are legally allowed to post their pictures on our blogs, but i am just still a little to afraid to do that. you never know who's lurking out there. so, for now you'll have enjoy this photo and just imagine the rest. they are very, very cute. trust me!

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all in all, i'd have to say we've had a pretty amazing week. i hesitate to call us the all-American family, but that's what it feels like, and looks like. we are young, 29 and 28, we have three kids, a labrador retriever, a red pick-up truck, a mini-van, a four bedroom colonial. daddy goes to work in the morning, mommy stays home. daddy comes home while mommy is finishing up dinner and he gets the kids all wound up. we eat dinner together, play together, get ready for bed together.

our family was formed in a different way than the typical all-American family, but it was formed beautifully. you know, our daughter was born two months after we were married. i know God had started orchestrating things way before then, but to think that her little life started right after ours began together. wow. and our baby was born last year, right when we were starting to figure out our infertility/adoption journey.

and now they are ours. and it feels so good. i have babies. three of them. i am a three baby mama. i look forward to sharing more of our new life with you soon.